You know you're getting old when...

First something else....I have been awarded again!! That's the second time in 2 weeks time wow. I got the award of the lovely fellow lady blogger Diane who has a blog called Much of a muchness. Her blog Started as "random thoughts and musings" on life but grew to making handmade books with the occasional excursion 'off piste' into the world of calligraphy and photography.

Thanks Diane

Old Age :

SIGNS OF WEAR

"OLD" IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love" and you answer, "Pick
one, I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the
garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you
don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by
the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any
fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking
lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

This isn't about me by the way.

Blog to stop abuse

Today is "blog against abuse day" for bloggers. Bloggers all over the world will blog about child abuse or other forms of abuse. If you didn't know yet, look here. Being a dad of 3 kids myself I would like to do something about child abuse.

It shouldn't hurt to be a kid....

- Child abuse is physical -- shaking, hitting, beating, burning, or biting a child.
- Child abuse is emotional -- constantly blaming or putting down a child; excessive yelling, shaming.

- Child abuse is sexual -- incest, any forced sexual activity, exposure to sexual stimulation not appropriate for the child's age.

- Child abuse is neglect -- a pattern of failure to provide for the child's physical needs, such as food, clothing, shelter, and medical care; a pattern of failure to provide for the child's emotional needs, such as affection, attention, and supervision.

What can you do if you know a child is abused?

If you suspect that a child has been abused:

- In cases of an immediate emergency, always call 911 (or police) for Law Enforcement intervention.

- Where the situation is not an emergency needing the police, reports should be made to the Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline. You can find all of that on the internet.

There is another way to help too. Childfocus is a Belgian founded organisation, but they operate all over the world. You can donate if you want.

Child Focus, the European Center for Missing and Sexually Exploited
Children, is a Belgian foundation, recognised as being of public utility.
For 7 years, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, at both national and international level, the center actively supports investigations in disappearance, abduction or
sexual exploitation of children and, secondly, tries to prevent and fight
against these phenomena. Remember our emergency number 110: if you want to
report a disappearance, an abduction or sexual exploitation.

Anorexia

The famous photographer Oliviera Toscani is running a campaign on anorexia. He wants to make people aware of the problem by displaying pictures in the streets of the french model Isabelle Caro, who suffers from anorexia for 15 years now. Her current weight is 30 kilograms (+/-66 pounds) and that is 5 kilograms more than a year ago.

The problem of anorexia keeps growing. A lot of people are against campaigns like this but they sure have effect. Sometimes shocking people is the only way to make them aware of stuff.

The fashion world already announced that they will ask for a health certificate first before employing a new model. So it's having effect already.

Oliviera Toscani made the news before with controversial ads for Benetton. He may be controversial but he has a talent for getting a message across. Even if it's shocking to a lot of people, I'm pro.

Making friends online

Yuwie is the new "kid on the block" for making friends online, uploading pictures and videos, post blogs etc. Compare it to Myspace but with one big difference. Click the banner to check it out yourself.

So called "social networks" are all over the place. Myspace, Tagged, Facebook etc.

Advertisers use these networks to advertise and pay them for it. Sad thing is that the money goes entirely to the networks and people like you and me don't see a dime of it. Although it is you and me that make those networks big. It's the users who make loads of money for them.

Shortly another network appeared though. They are going to pay their users a
piece of the action back. Yuwie pays the users per pageview. For everything you do on Yuwie (Upload a picture, post a comment to someones blog, edit your own profile etc), they pay you for that. Sounds good doesn't it?

So what's the catch? No catch since it's entirely free to use. I'm going to make Yuwie my prime network, because I think the potential is there.

The idea is kind of the same as what AGLOCO does. I keep promoting AGLOCO too for the same reason.

Click the banners to sign up for both programs. It's all free. And free is good.

Toilets from around the world

A couple of days ago, I talked about the different kinds of humour and the different laws in other countries. Today I would like to share the difference in toilets from around the world. Decide for yourself which one you prefer.

America

England

France

Germany

Italy

Japan

South Korea

New Zealand

Spain

Turkey

And last but not least.....Belgium

Are blondes really dumb?

First I would like to say I'm very excited. Yessssss. My first award since I started blogging not so long ago. I was awarded "Awesome Guy Blogger" by Nellioness, a great blog about sex, sexuality, relationships etc. In a nutshell, everything that makes the body tremble… Everything that touches the soul…

Nelli has a great blog with intriguing stories and magnificent tips for adults. "If she's good, she's very good, but when she's bad, she's even better". Keep up the good work Nelli.

__________________________

I have asked myself many times why blonde females have the reputation of being dumb. Is it because blondes on average get more attention from men and get asked out more so that brunettes or black haired women are actually jealous and need something to get even? So they want to put them down and make jokes about them? Maybe, but it's also the men who make "blonde jokes". So that theory isn't waterproof.
Although women know they will be made fun off, they still want to be blonde. Probably for the reason mentioned above.
Personally I don't think the hair-colour has anything to do with intelligence. Most blondes are dyed anyway so they're not naturally blonde. It's stereotyped.
A lot of celebrities are or were blonde and most women want to look like them period.
I'm not one of the many men that prefer blonde. And that has nothing to do with the intelligence issue but everything with the looks.
Videos like this won't help the reputation of blondes but I couldn't resist. Sowwy blonde readers.

Humour is different in each country

The video shows you the difference in humour in a couple of different countries. No Belgian one in there unfortunatly.

How would a Belgian do it you ask? I can think of 2 things. Either he makes an appointment first when it would be appropriate to come and kick the bloke in the bollox or....he hides behind a bush and throws chocolate bars in his nuts because he doesn't want to be seen.

If your country wasn't on there, feel free to add....

New laws for a new country

Exactly 100 days today after the national elections in Belgium and still no progress towards a new government. Some people are still talking about a split between Flanders and Wallonia. If it really comes to that, would we need some new laws?

I've been browsing some foreign laws to see if we can use any of them. Or improve them.

In Baltimore, Maryland, it is not legal to take a lion to the movies. I think we'll have that one here too.

In Oxford, Ohio, it is unlawful for a woman to appear in public while unshaven. This includes legs and face. Hmmmm...yeah here too.

According to a law in China, you must be intelligent to go to college. Depends on the college I guess.

In Carmel, New York, a man cannot be seen in public while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. Needs serious consideration.

In Zion, Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give cats, dogs, or other domesticated animals a lighted cigar. I think we'll have that one too, a cigarette yes, but a cigar?

In New York it is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun. Naaah, it's too much fun.

Also in NY, a person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his or her pocket. Come on, give me one reason why not.

Still in NY, citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers". I think we should make this one the common greeting ritual. Handshakes are pretty lame after all.

NY again, Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. I'm all for that one.

Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger. It's a national sport here so....nope.

Also in Oklahoma, Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punishable by one year in jail and a $2,500 fine. National sport too so no way.

A very important law that should be in the constitution I think is this : It will be strictly forbidden for men to wear white socks in sandals.

More suggestions are welcome.

The difference between men and women

We all know there is a difference between men and women, and I don't mean physically. Lets look at a couple of recognizable examples.

While eating out with some friends in a restaurant, women will call each other by their real name. Men however will call each other names like Scrappy, Butt-head or Godzilla. After dinner when the bill has to be paid, the men will all throw a $ 20 note on the table, even if it's only $ 25 to pay. And none will actually admit they want change back.
The women however will get the calculator out.

Where shopping is concerned, a man will pay $2 for an item he wants that only costs $1. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn’t need.

In the bathroom, men have toothpaste, a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
Women have an average of 337 items in the bathroom. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Women worry a lot about the future untill they get married. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change but she does.

The only times a man will dress up is for either a wedding or a funeral, while women dress up to go shopping, water the plants or to answer the phone.

When men wake up in the morning, they still look the same as when they went to bed. A women however seems to deteriorate during the night.

Thank God we're different. It would be too boring if we all were the same, wouldn't it?

Tips everyone can use

I thought I'd give my readers some useful tips everyone can use in daily life.

For clumsy people :

-If you're a bit clumsy, you can avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

For people with kids :

-Make bath times as much fun for kiddies as a visit to the seaside by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and a dog turd into the bath.

Money saving tips :

-Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

-Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

-A next door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.

-An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

-Always poo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.

For lazy people :

-A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

Be Happy :

-Every morning smile to your mirror, but why stop there? Smile to your kitchen table, to your living room sofa and to your iron board. Beware, don't smile to your dishwasher it may take it as provocation.

Don't overdo it and be carefull :

-Clothes don't make the man, but being naked will get you arrested.
-Don't put all your eggs in one basket, put all of then in the fridge they will last longer.
-Time is money. Stop reading stupid articles!

Am I a spermbag?

About 10 years ago I had “the snip”, better known as a vasectomy. I had never given it much thought but a couple of days ago, Debbie, my girlfriend and I were talking about it. I asked myself the question what a vasectomy really does. So Debbie did some research and found the following:

Vasectomy is a permanent birth control method for men. In some conventional clinics part of the vasa deferentia(more commonly known as sperm tubes) are surgically removed, thus sterilizing the patient. In more modern clinics and in no-scalpel (keyhole) vasectomies none of the vas is removed, but is instead cut and sealed.

I was in a modern clinic.

When the vasectomy is complete, sperm can no longer exit the body through the penis. Sexual desire (libido) and the ability to have an erection and an orgasm with an ejaculation are not affected. Because the sperm itself makes up a very small proportion of an ejaculation, vasectomy does not significantly affect the volume, appearance, texture or taste of the ejaculate.

Luckily!

That takes me to the next question. If the sperm can't exit my body, where the hell is it?

They are reabsorbed by the body.

Oh my blinking God. Do I have all those little wotsits swimming around in my body??

More research shows that they are broken down by the body. Pheeew, what a relief.

That leaves me with one more question though. I always thought that the stuff that was ejaculated (by a non-snipped man) was called "sperm". So what exactly is it that I'm ejaculating now, after my vasectomy? Does it have a name?

Debbie...some more research please.

How foreigners feel about Belgium

I found this on an expat site. What foreigners think about Belgium. As you know I don't think very highly about my home country either so I can find myself in most of the quotes.




You know you've been in Belgium too long when.....

1) You always stop your car for traffic from even the tiniest little road from the right.

2) You consider breaking the speed limit normal, and honk and flash at people who don't.

3) If you have had less than 10 beers, you drive your car home, but you still don't indicate when turning or respect the speed limit.

4) If you have a car, you consider any other means of transportation as slightly suspicious.

5) You know the names of at least 10 different sauces for fries.

6) You catch yourself ordering a "Supplement Fries" with every single dish you have in any kind of restaurant.

7) You give other foreigners lectures on the difference between fake and real monastery-produced beer.

8) You don't drink the last two centilitres of a Westmalle trippel.

9) You never wear any color brighter than dark green. You automatically assume anyone who does is either
a) Dutch
b) Scandinavian
c) American or
d) Extremely rude

10) Just one day without rain even in July and August can make you happy.

11) On Saturday morning and Sunday evening of any sunny summer-weekend you accept spending more than three hours stuck in traffic jams on motorways in order to get to and from 60 kilometers of coastline that are completely cramped with high-risers 20 meters from the beach.

12) You don't mind that bouncers have to be given at least a euro when you leave a disco as a bribe for letting you in next time.

13) You consider it normal that even the train to and from the airport has announcements in both Dutch and French, but not in English. You don't react when all of the foreigners storm out of the train at the announcement of Brussels North when coming from the airport.

14) You do all of your grocery shopping in either GB or Delhaize and you don't understand anyone who shops in the other supermarket chain.

15) You consider it normal to go out to a restaurant at least five times per week.

16) You use and understand abbreviations like NMBS/SNCB, MIVB/STIB, and SMAP/OMOB.

17) You only buy the most up-market chocolate brands, and fell sorry for the geeks who buy "white products."

18) You start going to Quick instead of McDonalds and you have actually tasted the Quick Bearnise Burger.

19) You think it looks nice when the type of pavement tiles in front of each house are different, and you don't mind falling over lopsided tiles occasionally.

20) You take dog doo on the pavement as just another challenge on your daily walks.

21) You keep three colors of garbage bags for different kinds of waste, and remember which days to put out which kind of bag on the pavement in front of your house.

22) You don't mind when most streets are full of bags that have been put out on the wrong day, not even in the summer when the combination of the sun and intrepid dogs makes it a very interesting experience.

23) You automatically assume that everyone else speaks at least three languages, but refuse to speak more than one yourself.

24) You have given up on any sensible political discussion about the language divide in general and the Brussels Capital Region and the future of Belgium in particular.

25) You consider politicians and the police worse than criminals, with the possible exception of pedophiles.

26) You consider it perfectly normal when the names of towns on road signs change from French to Dutch and vice versa every 5 or 10 kilometres of motorway.

27) You have understood that the hassle of monthly visits to the municipality to obtain papers or residence permits is reserved for recently arrived foreigners who move every 6 months, and you therefore don't complain over your own annual visit where you wait in line for an hour or two.

28: You don't even complain when Belgacom overcharge you for a service you never had!

29: You automatically stop in the middle of a roundabout for fear of someone using the "Priorite a droite" rule!

30: You consider increasing your life insurance every time you approach a pedestrian crossing!

31. You're not surprised when Electrabel sends you invoices (and nasty reminders) for your previous home > 8 months after you've moved.

32. You find it a bargain when you get a 50% discount on a 700 euro designer jacket (where as the exact same jacket is available for 110 US$ or 85 euros in Macy's at Herald Square, NYC) and you think you paid more because you got better quality.

33. You find it normal when supermarkets expect your Parents to speak Flemish while they come visiting you in Antwerp from abroad for once in a lifetime, and makes you feel very obliged when they give it a try in English.

34. You find it a completely normal procedure that an immigrant worker cannot get a job without a work permit and cannot get a work permit without a job.

35. You have figured out the logic behind why some Belgians (who make a living out of teaching local languages to foreigners) vote for the far right wing political parties.

36. Your dress is perfectly compatible with the expected weather conditions.

37. You blindly presume that a person of North African origin has committed the crime that has taken place in your neighbourhood (even before the police have arrived - after two hours.

38. You consider it perfectly normal not to find an address in what you broadly call "Brussels" if you do not remember the exact name or ZIP code of the commune.

39. You find it normal that when you are in no rush your tram arrives right when you arrive at the tram stop. But when you are late for work, you watch 5 trams go in the opposite direction before yours comes. (just how do they get so far off schedule at 8:30 in the morning???)

40. You actually end up understanding a few of the words somebody said to you.

41. When you speak to somebody in flemmish, they actually understand you (I haven't been here long enough yet)

42. You found a place that sells rice not prepackaged in little baggies inside the box.

43. You participate to the annual reenactment of the Battle of the Golden Spurs, which took place in 1302, and think it's normal to joyfully celebrate such a bloodshed in the 21st century.

44. You think that travelling 50km is a long way, but that something that happened 500 years ago is fairly recent.

45. You wonder how comes that other countries's motorways are not all bright orange at night.

46. You understand why Tintin looks like he does - he is Belgian after all !

For the rest....it's all good...

I learned the hard way

When I was 16, I was grounded one day for a reason I don't remember. All my mates were going on a booze trip that Saturday night and I thought I couldn't miss that for the world. So I snuck out of my bedroom window like a thief in the night and went along with my mates. After several beers we decided to go to another disco of some sort. I don't even remember where.
My mate who was 2 years older than me had a fast-tuned Ford Escort. You can guess what happened. You should never drive drunk. He hit a tree, and another one. The car spun a couple of times and I was catapulted out through the windscreen. Actually I was lucky I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. I came out with a severe concussion, some glass cuts in my face and a torn ear. My mate on the other hand was trapped in the car, broke both his legs and will limp for the rest of his life. I stopped a car and the driver called an ambulance. That's about all I remember because I kept passing due to the concussion. What I do remember is my mates crying "my legs, my legs, it hurts so bad." Fire-workers had to cut him out.

Seatbelts can save your life of course, but in my case it saved my life not having it on.

The police went to my house to tell my mum about the accident. She was like "that's impossible, he's upstairs in bed". You can imagine the trouble I was in. Grounded for a year!

When I got out of the hospital a week later, I saw the car and realised I had been so lucky I was thrown free. The passenger side was completely gone. I would have been dead if I had still been in there. My mate had to learn how to walk again. It took him several months to recover.

It's always been like that. If I did (or do) something I'm not supposed to do, I never get away with it. I guess I'll just have to keep behaving like I have done since the night of the accident. Well....kind off.

Stupid things to say.

Have you ever said something stupid and felt like a real plonker after that? No need to worry, here's a collections of stupid quotes done by celebrities. You will feel smarter after reading them.

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-- Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
-- A congressional candidate in Texas.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-- Al Gore, Vice President

And

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Al Gore, VP

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?"
-- Lee Iacocca

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-- Bill Clinton, President

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-- Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
-- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Feeling smarter already?

Belgian flag over New York again

This is becoming quite a familiar picture. Justine Henin kissing the trophy after winning yet another grand slam. She dominated the complete US open. Steaming through the tournament, not giving away one single set. Not only that, she managed to beat Serena as well as Venus Williams in a 3 day time span --and on their own home ground--. You can say with right and reason that this tiny Belgian girl deserves to be the worlds number 1.

She overcame the disappointment of the semi final loss at Wimbledon (against Marion Bartoli) earlier this year and personal problems, to come back stronger than ever. Wimbledon is the only grand slam still missing on her list. But I'm pretty sure she will win that as well. If it isn't next year, than it'll be in 2 years.

According to herself and her coach Carlos Rodriguez, her game can still improve. Wow. It's quite impressive as it is already. God knows what we are still going to see.

After winning This US open --which was her 7th grand slam victory--, she's closing in quickly on other tennis godesses. Serena Williams, Monica Seles and others.
Steffie Graf seems far out of reach though with her 22 grand slam victories. Also legends like Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert (both 19 grand slams) seem too far away. But you never know. Henin is a pretty persistant little lady.

This is one of the few moments I'm proud to be Belgian.

Join our magical carpet ride !!

Tonight I had the unexpected visit of the Genie King and Genie Princess….and I thought I was just getting a messagefrom a fellow blogger named Morgan. Since I've never rode a carpet with genies before, I thought I give it a go.

Alakazam!

The mighty Genie King and the beautiful Genie Princess from the magical Land of Faraway have finally escaped the clutches of their Evil Master after being held captive for 1000 years! With the help of their trusty Genie Buddy, they are now flying away on their Magical Flying Carpet on a quest to redeem their souls for all the wicked deeds they were forced to do by the Evil Master!







Tonight, the two Genies have flown to your home and would like to safeguard it by giving you the Symbols of the Genies to ward off the Evil Master and his wicked ways! The genies are requesting you to put up their Genie Symbols and in return, you will be given one wish to do as you please! Remember, do not be greedy or unkind, evil or vengeful and be very careful with what you wish for! Once you have made your wish you can join the Magical Flying Carpet Ride!

***Start Copying Here***

Rules:
1. Write a short paragraph about your visit by the two Genies and include a link to the blog that passed on the Genie Symbol to you.
2. COPY the Rules and ENTIRE List below and post it on your blog.
3. List down your wish.
4. Place your name below the last name on the list and pass on the Genie Symbol to at least 5 other bloggers.
5. Please put up either one (or both) of the Symbols of the Genies on your blog to show that the Genies have visited your blog. See Jesse’s site for the Codes to the Genie images.

The Genie King, the Genie Princess and their trusty Genie Buddy have visited:

Mariuca would like to wish for success and fame.
Adrian would like to wish for good health and happiness.
Emila would like to wish for happiness and success.
MPG would like to wish for love and peace.
Bobby would like to wish for the powers of Superman and immortality.
Jean would like to wish for stress-free work environment and happiness.
Jesse would like a great isp and a Yummy box of chocolates.
Rolando would like everyone’s hearts desire to come true.
SpeedCat Hollydale would like a pet acorn monkey named “Monkee”.
Jay would like to wish for 10k visitors and readers per day.
Spiff, The Spaceman would like a billion US Dollars! (Am I being too greedy here?)
Trinity would like to wish good health for Jan’s brother and Yah and Wan and success.
Joezul would like to wish for all to get their wish come true.
Sam would like to wish for a happy & simple life and happiness to everyone.
Mighty Morgan would like to wish for love, laughter, sunshine and blue skies all in a single day for EVERYONE!!!

Rudi from Eurekos would like to wish good health and happiness and all the others wishes come true.
——–
——–

Welcome aboard the Magical Flying Carpet for the Ride of your Life!

Alakazam!

***End Copying Here***

And here are the five people I would like to tag with the genie symbols.

Nellioness

AdSensetracker

Femikey

Julian

Lilyruth

Now all of you get on your Genie costumes and flying magic carpets and grantsome wishes!!!!!

The day I'll never forget.

It was a nice summer day, July 12th 1972. It was the month before my 9th birthday. I was staying with my granny for a couple of days during that holiday. I was still in bed that morning around 8:30 when my 13 year older sister came to tell me the news. Bad news. Very bad.
My dad had passed away. It was very sudden and unexpected, a heart attack. It all seemed very unreal to me. My sister took me home and there I realised it was very real. My mum had collapsed completely. The doctor had been called and he had given her medication to calm her down.
In fact, my mum was in such a bad state that she wasn't even able to attend the funeral a couple of days later. She was a complete wreck.

When we came out of the church after the funeral, the church bells seemed to sound 10 times louder than usual. It was like heaven was coming down on me. Suddenly I fully realised I wouldn't have a dad anymore for the rest of my life. I just wanted to leave the crowd and just run. But I was brave.

In Belgium, like in most countries I guess, it's a tradition that relatives and friends come together for coffee and something to eat after a funural. There were about 200 people there. You know how it goes. In the beginning it's quite civilised and quiet but after a while it gets noisier and noisier. I remember I was standing talking to my cousin who was only a couple of months older than me, when suddenly the door opened and I saw my mum entering the room. She spotted me immediately and came running to me in tears. She grabbed me and started to say in her crying, quite loud voice, "oh son, what are we going to do now?"

The crowd that had been quite loud a minute earlier suddenly was very quiet now. Complete silence. All eyes focused on me and my mum. I felt like running again. But again I was brave. I'm sure it all only took a minute but it felt like hours.
I was rescued by my granny who took my mum by the arm, led her to a chair and tried to calm her down.
I think I've never been as glad to be alone in my room as I was later that night, trying to digest it all. From that day on I was the man in the house. At the age of 8.

It's one of those days one never forgets.

Honesty

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Belgian political crisis

As Belgium's Justine henin steams through the US open, the political situation in Belgium is reaching a climax. More and more voices are heard in favour of separating Belgium. It always has been a very difficult situation in belgium, made up of 60% flemish-speaking, free-market oriented Flemings and 40% French-speaking, predominantly Socialist Walloons. I am one of the flemings by the way. It would take me too far to go too much into detail about this (and to be honest I can't be bothered), but if you're more interested about the situation than me (I think it all starts to look like an old time bad vaudeville), you can read about it here.

The King and his Royal --money absorbing-- family would have a bit of a problem if Belgium really was separated. What would happen to them? Take a close look at the picture of the Royal family and you'll have to admit they look a lot like a cast for the Muppet show.

Anyway, if politicians already can't agree on small problems right now, how the hell are they going to decide what belongs to Flanders and what to Wallonia?
Flemings and Walloons have different opinions on seperation too. A survey done earlier this week shows that more than 40% of the Flemings are pro while only 8% of the Walloons think it's a good idea.
Not a surprise there since Flanders pays most of Belgium’s taxes and the bulk of the money flows to Wallonia.

To be honest I couldn't care less what they do. I've never felt like a real Belgian anyway, eventhough I've lived here my whole life. That's probably why I have an English girlfriend too.

The only time I feel a bit patriotic is when a Belgian performs well in a sports discipline. Like Justine Henin. She's one of the exceptions. Way to go Justine.

Another milestone for emancipation

The Tower of London has appointed a female Beefeater for the first time in its history.

The Yeoman Warder, who has not been named, will join the 35-strong guard in September after undergoing training.

She fought off competition from five other candidates, all male, and will replace a retiring Beefeater. A successful candidate must have served a minimum of 22 years in the forces as well as boast a long service and good conduct medal. The new Beefeater's scarlet livery uniform will be the same as her male colleagues' although it will be altered to fit her figure.
Her role will involve acting as a guide for tourists visiting the Tower, which is more than 900 years old.
Beefeaters have been guarding the Tower since 1485 - for 522 years. The Beefeater nickname of the Tower of London's Yeoman Warders is thought to derive from the daily ration of meat they received.

Their full title is Yeoman Warder of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London, and Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary.

For state occasions they wear the well-known ceremonial dress of red and gold with red stockings, a white ruff and black patent shoes.

For everyday duties they wear dark blue trimmed with red.

As the Brits don't like to make exceptions to their traditions, I think this is a milestone for female emancipation. Way to go ladies.